


tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?

by fitemehwanghyunjin



Series: let’s make amends.♡ [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Boys in Skirts, Ex Best Friends, Friends to Enemies to Friends, I suck at tagging, M/M, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Reconciliation, Recreational Drug Use, and wears a skirt, bluesung, idk what else to tag, jisung smokes weed, mentions of bullying, popular hyunjin, school party, they kinda become friends again?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23591080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitemehwanghyunjin/pseuds/fitemehwanghyunjin
Summary: Hyunjin wanted to hide in a ditch until he rotted. He hadn't meant to hurt Jisung like that. Puberty gave him the popularity you only saw in movies. The popularity and validation he yearned for. And Jisung was home to him. They were neighbors. They grew up together. They trusted each other. They loved each other.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Series: let’s make amends.♡ [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716289
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?

**Author's Note:**

> title and inspiration : sports by beach bunny

Loud.

Everything was _too_ loud.

The music, the people, and even his _thoughts_ seemed to be too loud. And it was keeping him from enjoying the party he helped student council to plan for the senior class

Hyunjin doesn't know when the feeling started, but it was rapidly taking hold and he couldn't breathe. He felt trapped. He needed out.

"Hey, man. Are you alright?" Seungmin asked, glancing at his friend in concern. "You're looking kind of pale."

Hyunjin wanted to tell him no, but he swallowed his words and forced a smile. "Yeah," he breathed out. "I just need some air."

Seungmin nodded in understanding. "I'll make sure no one spikes the punch in your absence." He said, patting Hyunjin's shoulder. The latter gave him a real smile to show his gratitude before taking his leave.

He walked up the back stairs that led to the roof quickly, hands shaking as he grabbed the rock students placed in between the door and the wall to prevent from being locked out. He put the rock in its place before stepping outside.

Hyunjin took a deep breath and loosened his tie while walking towards the ledge, peering off to stare at the empty football field below. A breeze picked up and he took a second breath, eyebrows furrowing at the familiar smell of weed.

"This is a sight you don't see everyday." Hyunjin's eyes widened. Granted it had been three years since the voice had spoken words directly to him, he knew who this was. He turned to his right, eyes immediately landing on the figure of the blue haired boy who stood there proudly, joint in hand and leather skirt clinging nicely to his small waist.

"Jisung..." Hyunjin couldn't even find it in him to scold the boy for smoking on school premises. "You look... good."

Jisung scoffed, leaning against the ledge next to Hyunjin. "That's rich coming from the guy who turned a blind eye when student council specifically told us that boys _had_ to wear a suit." 

Hyunjin watched as Jisung brought the blunt to his lips and took a long drag. The shorter turned his head to the side with a smirk and blew the smoke into Hyunjin's face, making his splutter and take a step back in shock.

Hyunjin shot Jisung and glare before taking a deep breath to calm. "Why are you on the roof?" He asked in the most authoritative voice he could muster.

Jisung raised his eyebrow. "I could literally ask you the same thing." They stared at each other before Jisung broke into a fit of giggles. "Chillax, Vice Prez. I'm only here on a smoke break. Or would you rather me smoke indoors?"

Hyunjin sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'd rather you not smoke at all, Sung."

"Don't call me that," Jisung spat. "You lost that right, let me see... ah yeah. Three years ago."

Hyunjin's eyes shot open and he looked at Jisung. He cringed when he saw just how angry the other seemed. But Hyunjin knew better. Jisung was hurt.

And while he felt like he didn't exactly have the right to be, he was too.

"Sung— Jisung, I'm sorry about that," he said, turning to look at the field again. "I don't think I ever got the chance to properly apologize for how I acted that day either."

A silence fell over them for a few minutes and Hyunjin gathered the courage to look at Jisung again. The blue haired boy took a few more pulls before putting it out on the ledge and shoving the remaining half of the joint into the pocket of his jacket. He pulled out a chapstick, applying it to his lips.

"Sorry doesn't cover the heartbreak, Hyunjin." Jisung eventually said, facing Hyunjin. "Maybe that could've worked three years ago, but not now."

Hyunjin visibly cringed again. "Jisung—"

"Let me fucking finish," he growled out and Hyunjin nodded immediately, allowing the other to continue saying what he wanted to. "You were my best friend for years, Hyunjin. Years. We spent so much time together and you were the one person I trusted most in this world." Jisung paused and took a deep breath. "I _poured my heart out_ to you that night. I told you my biggest secret. I kissed you—"

"And I kissed back, Jisung!" Hyunjin practically shouted, making Jisung flinch. Hyunjin took a deep breath and frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair. "I wanted that. I felt the same way. Didn't I tell you that?"

Jisung glanced up at the sky with watery eyes. "I'm not high enough for this—"

"Jisung," Hyunjin called in a soft tone, gently taking the other's hands into his own. "Didn't I tell you that I loved you too that day?"

Jisung nodded softly, hanging his head and letting his tears fall. "You did.."

Hyunjin's eyes filled up as well. "I never meant to hurt you, Sung." Hyunjin let his tears fall. 

"But you did," Jisung hissed while yanking his hands out of Hyunjin's. "Do you know what it's like to be bullied, Hyunjin? To be called slurs everyday? I do. And they don't bother me anymore. Remember how you helped me learn to block them out?" Another cringe from Hyunjin. "Nothing in this world hurts more than to have someone you cherish direct a nasty word at you."

Hyunjin wanted to hide in a ditch until he rotted. He hadn't meant to hurt Jisung like that. Puberty gave him the popularity you only saw in movies. The popularity and validation he yearned for. And Jisung was home to him. They were neighbors. They grew up together. They _trusted_ each other. They _loved_ each other.

Chan and Minho weren't supposed to see them kiss. They weren't supposed to be there because football practice didn't start for another hour. But they were there and Hyunjin panicked. He never intended to shove Jisung onto the floor. He never meant to call him that word.

He shouldn't have been so selfish, to think he could have both popularity and happiness. 

And he shouldn't have left fifteen year old Jisung crying under the bleachers.

"I really do love you," Hyunjin sobbed. "I was so fucking selfish at fifteen and I wanted more than I could have. But that never changed how I felt about you."

Another silence. Hyunjin took that time to gather his bearings.

"Y'know what," Jisung started, taking a deep breath. "I don't doubt that. I don't doubt that you love me or that you truly regret what happened. I don't doubt it because I know who you are Hwang Hyunjin." Jisung grabbed Hyunjin's hands and the taller almost forgot how to breath. "But you were unsure of what you really wanted then just like you're unsure now."

Hyunjin shook his head. "I know what I want now."

Jisung raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you want? Tell me."

"I really want to kiss you. To show you. Like three years ago."

"Then do it."

Hyunjin placed one hand on the nape of Jisung's neck, pulling him in to a kiss while the other rested softly against the other's waist. The kiss wasn't an innocent one, teeth clashing and tongues battling. Hyunjin ultimately won, squeezing Jisung's ass through the leather and making the shorter whine against his lips. They pulled away for air, resting their foreheads against each other.

"Please don't leave me again." Hyunjin panted softly, eyes beginning to fill up with tears again. He leaned back, his hand moving to cradle Jisung's face. "I love you."

Jisung chuckled softly. "Love is a word I've unfortunately grown to hate. It's too complicated." Jisung looked at Hyunjin with watery eyes. "You and I both know that I'm not very good at sports."

Hyunjin's heart broke and he knew what was coming. But he needed to hear it. "What does that mean?"

"It means that you should really save your games for people who are willing to play." 

Jisung stepped away from Hyunjin and the taller had to bite back a sob. "I get it. Really. And I'm still sorry for everything that happened."

Jisung nodded his head. "It's all water under the bridge." A silence. "I should really get going. Felix and Changbin are probably waiting for me. We hadn't planned on staying long."

"Ah you should probably head off then," Hyunjin said, forcing a smile. "Wouldn't want to keep your friends waiting."

"More like my friend and my dealer." Jisung joked awkwardly. Another silence and then Jisung cleared his throat. "It was, uhm, nice to talking to you again, Hyunjin. Take care and I hope you find true love out there."

Hyunjin smiled painfully. "Uh yeah. You too, Jisung. Take care."

With that Jisung left, leaving behind a lovesick Hyunjin.

About ten minutes later the door to the roof creaked open again and Hyunjin turned to see Seungmin and their friend, Jeongin.

"There you are ! We've been looking all over for you!" Seungmin exclaimed, walking over.

"Another student said they saw you up here and that you were getting some air," Jeongin added, gently placing his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder. 

"Are you feeling better, Hyunjin?" Seungmin asked, concern evident in his voice.

Hyunjin smiled. "Yeah! I'm feeling much better ! Let's head back to the party. Gotta make sure the punch isn't spiked and people are leaving room for Jesus."

And with that, Hyunjin had told his second lie to Seungmin that night.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading !♡


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